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Way back in the murky depths of my political history, I was a Liberal. That is, I chose viewpoints that I knew were contrary to those of my folks, who have been pretty much straight ticket Republicans. The thing about my taking the Liberal position on things like the military, foreign policy, environmental issues and the like was that I knew it would wind them up if an issue came up in discussion.

Did I have a clue what any of those issues really were? No. I was largely ignorant, and merely parroting the views of people around me, other 17 year olds. I wasn't entirely ignorant, however. There were two issues that I had informed opinions on, and it turns out my opinions were conservative. The first that comes to mind is Nuclear Power. I was always a science nerd as a kid, and I loved reading about nuclear power reactors and other big technology. When 3 Mile Island happened, a lot of my friends followed the lead of Hollywood, specifically The China Syndrome, and wanted us to shut down all nuclear power plants. This seemed really stupid to me, because I saw the same news stories, and knew that the dangers were grossly over-estimated, and the true need was to build more and bigger nuke plants. Sadly, this did not happen, and we are reaping what we sowed back then, with ever higher energy costs, and a clear need to cut fossil fuel usage. With electric vehicles becoming practical, cheap, clean electricity is more and more necessary.

The second, and greater issue was Abortion. From the day I heard of abortion, it was clear to me that this was abominable. It was clear that it's impossible to claim a belief in God and support the Slaughter of the Innocent in the name of personal convenience and expedience.

So for High School, and part of my college career, I would say things against Reagan or the Military to wind up my Dad. But inside, I knew that I wasn't really Liberal, because I wasn't Pro-Abortion, and Anti-Nuke. As it turned out, I really wasn't anti-Reagan. I was just being as rebellious as I thought I could get away with. My heart wasn't in it.

Half way through my Junior year of college, I got married, and at the beginning of the following summer, I was a father. For awhile, I was pretty much apolitical. I didn't think much about it. By them time I finished school, and we moved back to my hometown, I was a Conservative. In an effort to be a good father and husband, I listened to a lot of Christian Radio. I listened to Focus on the Family, and Chuck Swindoll. The station I listened to also carried Marlon Maddox, and I started to get politically active. I was firmly in what would now be called the Christian Conservative, or Neo-Conservative movement. I started listening to this new guy named Rush Limbaugh. He made sense. He said things that made me laugh. I hated Tip O'Neill, I loved Reagan and Bush (41), and I really hated Clinton.

But in the back of my mind something was tickling me. There was a voice that said, "But where is the compassion?" I started noticing that at least some of the Liberals, not in Congress, but amongst people I know, were asking questions about policy that goes to the heart of what true Christianity should be about. Most of the time, their feelings were far ahead of the rationality of their solutions, ie, much more heart than head, but I had to start questioning some of the things I said I believed.

September 11, 2001 was a turning point for me, as it was for most Americans. I realized that neither political party or ideology had the answers. I became somewhat apathetic. I wasn't really Conservative anymore, but I could never again claim any sort of Liberal affiliation.

The final nails in the coffin of my Conservative influences came when Rush Limbaugh showed remarkably bad judgement in his personal life, in direct contradiction to his public pronouncements. The second was even more striking, when Sean Hannity made it clear that his opposition to immigration reforms were really racist. He boiled down some very difficult social and economic issues into Us, the White People vs Them, the Brown people. 

I became apathetic again. Mostly Conservative, but increasingly becoming Libertarian, I had very little interest in the 2008 presidential election. I knew that the Democrats were not going to put forward anyone worth looking at. They would be too busy trying to please the far fringe elements, while not alienating too many of the middle class. I knew the Libertarians and Greens were irrelevant. The Libertarians always seem just a little too scattered to make any difference, and the Greens are about as whacked out as you can get, all ideology, and no thought. And I suspected the Republicans would continue to find ways to lose. They would try to accommodate the largest groups they could, without alienating the core conservatives. Which, in fact, is what happened. My first thought when I knew who the 2 main candidates were was, "Great, I get to choose between an Empty Suit, and a dusty old suit." 

So where is my political home now? That's for the next article.